Daughter Wants to Wear Diapers Again Kristen Archives
Dear Amalah,
I love your advice and applied solutions. And then…Help! My lovely girl is 2.5. She is fully potty trained for pee, except for wearing a diaper at night. Then, yay! The problem is she refuses to poop in the potty. She has done it before, and we know she can, she just doesn't want to. She will expect about 2 minutes, sometimes less, afterward we put tuck her in (wearing a diaper) for bed earlier she comes out "I poop in da diaper!" all proud of herself. We have tried many things, explaining that is icky, star charts to earn prizes (she did Peachy for two weeks until her molars started coming through – stupid molars!), fifty-fifty taking away big girl things. She fully understands the concept, has the control, but only doesn't do it.
I don't know if information technology is that we have tried too many things (I suspect this may be role of the problem), but I don't know where to go from hither. I know it is a normal stage, they are afraid to lose part of themselves, etc etc, but how do we get by this? I am perhaps a fiddling anxious as we are expecting our second in a few months, and I am getting more and more tired of throwing out diapers she literally wore for a few minutes (she has even pooped a piffling, become a new diaper, poop more, get a new diaper, finish pooping – I got that to stop by making her expect 10 minutes after each time and so she could finish, but that whole process takes 45 minutes of my dearly needed slumber time). Nosotros are at the point where we take let her sleep in it a few nights, but I HATE this. I've seen and so much nigh other parents going through this, simply how practise nosotros get past it? Do I only suck information technology up and let her keep sleeping in it? Help!
Thank you,
MR
Yep. Yep yep. Been here, done that. I'm always hesitant to go into nitty-gritty details about my children's potty training habits, since while aye, everybody was a baby and wore diapers and crapped their pants for awhile, there's something distinctively less mannerly about the potty-training power struggles that ensue during the toddler years. Just: Yes.
Let'south only say, without naming names or anything, that I also had a toddler who was completely trained to pee in the potty at 2.5. A few days of big-kid pants kicking army camp and BAM. Mission accomplished. We notwithstanding used training pants/diapers at naptime and bedtime, and it quickly became credible that this was his poop-receptacle of option. That he would HOLD it until nosotros put that pull-up or diaper on him. And that yes, he would concord it for longer than a homo being should EVER concord it. As desperately as I wanted to be done with potty training, I did non want him to hurt himself over information technology, and so nosotros gritted our teeth and kept buying those damn pull-ups and kept cajoling and encouraging, mixed in with occasional stretches of ignoring and waiting for him to make the big-male child decision on his own.
Hither'due south where you lot're going to put your head downward on the keyboard and cry: It took near eight or nine months. He was closer to iii.5. And I don't think it was anything we "did," other than the fact that he finally, FINALLY fabricated that big-male child decision on his ain.
I tin can't call back where I start heard the advice that "you can't brand them eat, sleep or poop," but oh my hell, information technology'south so true. Then many of united states of america choose one or more of those hills to die on with our babies and toddlers, but the fact is, those are three bodily functions that THEY are in complete control of. AND THEY KNOW It.
What finally prompted my toddler-who-shall-not-exist-named to make the big-boy decision to poop on the potty instead of a diaper? Well, a couple things, but they were all things we'd tried repeatedly before with no success. And so again, it was probably just the right time, and he was "ready." But I guess the takeaway lesson is that just because something didn't work doesn't mean information technology was the "incorrect" approach and you should never try information technology again. For the states:
ane) Peer pressure. One time we had some other baby to diaper, I stopped buying the expensive disposable training pants and went back to large ol' boxes of store-brand value diapers. That looked just like baby brother'southward diapers. So, when I switched to cloth diapers for his baby brother, I found that they really fit him as well. So guess what! Y'all're gonna deed like a babe, yous're gonna wear the same thing as the infant. At start this didn't seem to faze him in the least, but later on a couple weeks…ehhh, I don't think he was then thrilled virtually wearing those bulky triple-blimp Fuzzi Bunz that felt and so very "wet" compared to what he was used to.
two) No more than diapers at naptime and bedtime. One time nosotros switched over to fabric, he started staying dry out (or dryer) during naps and nighttime, so we upgraded the mattress protection on his bed and let him go commando. First just for naps, then at night. And I was surprised that oh, he actually was only waking up wet because he knew he could, and was more than capable of getting himself out of bed and to the potty in time. I was only so anti-dealing-with-bed-accidents that I'd never really given the other pick a try. He'd nonetheless request a diaper for doing his other business, and I'd oblige, AFTER requiring him to sit on the potty for 5 or 10 minutes. Then he got the textile diaper, fine. Just look here while I get one from the Babe'Southward ROOM. The diaper was no longer a "given" at a certain signal in the twenty-four hour period that he knew he could wait for.
(I also tended to be "busy" for equally long every bit possible after he went and was requesting my clean-up assistance. You know, because if information technology bothered him and then much in the diaper he could Sit IN Information technology OR Merely USE THE TOILET LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE GAH OKAY DEEP BREATH ane-2-3 DON'T Permit HIM Run into HOW CRAZY HE'S DRIVING Y'all.)
3) Bribery. We'd tried sticker charts, candy, promises of new toys, you lot name information technology. Never worked. Then, over a holiday visit with his grandparents later he turned three, he watched an old VHS re-create of 101 Dalmatians. And he thought information technology was the greatest flick he'd ever seen. He asked me 1 day if he could watch it at our house, and I said yes. IF he pooped on the potty. THEN I would buy him 100 Dalmatians. I guess he thought this over for a few days then randomly just…came out and asked to use the potty instead of the usual diaper request. He went, we drove to the nearest store and bought the DVD, and came home and watched it. Done.
After that, to reinforce, he was But allowed to lookout that particular flick later on pooping on the potty. Aye, there was at to the lowest degree one night where nosotros totally had 101 Dalmatians playing at 11:xxx p.m., but dammit, the kid pooped in the potty. What'south off-white is off-white.
I want to underscore the fact that none of these things equaled an immediate solution. And who knows, maybe the months of other things nosotros tried (Everybody Poops and other potty training picture books, telling idiotic stories nigh the "party in the potty" that the poop WANTS to become, you lot name it) DID help, simply as office of a long, cumulative procedure. At some point, information technology clicked, or he simply stopped being scared or nervous about information technology, and decided to give a try.
We did NOT do anything punishment related, all the same — no yelling, shaming, losing of toys or privileges. I personally don't retrieve this is a proficient idea, especially if you lot think your kid has anxiety about pooping on the potty (that it volition hurt or they're "losing" something or has sensory bug or whatever), a skilful vs. naughty dynamic sets information technology upward to be an fifty-fifty bigger power struggle than information technology already is. Trust me, your child KNOWS you want him or her to poop on the potty. Your child KNOWS how much you care. By casting yourself as the bad-tempered bad guy who simply cares oh so very very much — plenty to yell or punish — yous're non really giving your child much motivation to poop on the potty to please you or make y'all happy, much less reinforcing the idea that the potty is a natural, normal big-kid thing and no-big-deal and all that.
Your girl WILL come around, I promise. Try to find a balance between regular reinforcing that yes, this is your expectation and what she needs to do…and not making a completely huge federal instance out of information technology that makes her feel pressured or broken-hearted. She could completely surprise you tomorrow, or she may dig her little heels in and fight you on this for another six months. If that happens, I'm sorry, but just know that it's nothing you're doing WRONG and is, in fact, pretty darn normal, and we're all here nodding in sympathy with you, because YEP.
(For the record, I've now got another child [WHO Also SHALL NOT BE NAMED] who will poop AND pee on the potty similar a pro…but only if he's at dwelling house, and not wearing whatsoever pants whatsoever. And he volition still effort to hold BOTH in until he gets a diaper at nap or bed time. Put him in underpants? Need to leave the house? Blow central. I am fix to kill the next person who makes a sweeping generalization nigh cloth-diapered kids potty-training "early on" or "easily" because gaaaaaahhhhhhhh he's driving me craaaaaaazy.)
Daughter Wants to Wear Diapers Again Kristen Archives
Source: https://alphamom.com/parenting/potty-training-wars-dealing-with-the-halfway-there-kid/